Hunting for Happiness

 Searching for happiness in an e-commerce website  returns a never-ending series of books with views from businessmen, journalists, lawyers, academics, and monks. Many of them have been #1 bestsellers and then dropped into the long tail of the the cavernous warehouses waiting for someone to rediscover them.

People not only want to read about finding happiness, they want to hear about it too - just search for Happiness on Spotify podcasts.

The fact that every few months a new tome or podcast appears claiming to have the recipe for happiness, shows that each of the prior trailblazers have only addressed a small portion of the hunt for happiness, It seems that we are blindfolded, in the dark and searching for a object that we have not idea how it looks.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his seminal book, Flow: The Psychology of Happiness says: 

 

“I shall argue that the primary reason it is so difficult to achieve happiness centers on the fact that, contrary to the myths mankind has developed to reassure itself, the universe was not created to answer our needs. Frustration is deeply woven into the fabric of life. And whenever some of our needs are temporarily met, we immediately start wishing for more. This chronic dissatisfaction is the second obstacle that stands in the way of contentment. To deal with these obstacles, every culture develops with time protective devices—religions, philosophies, arts, and comforts—that help shield us from chaos. They help us believe that we are in control of what is happening and give reasons for being satisfied with our lot. But these shields are effective only for a while; after a few centuries, sometimes after only a few decades, a religion or belief wears out and no longer provides the spiritual sustenance it once did. When people try to achieve happiness on their own, without the support of a faith, they usually seek to maximize pleasures that are either biologically programmed in their genes or are out as attractive by the society in which they live. Wealth, power, and sex become the chief goals that give direction to their strivings. But the quality of life cannot be improved this way. Only direct control of experience, the ability to derive moment-by-moment enjoyment from everything we do, can overcome the obstacles to fulfillment.”

 

“The foremost reason that happiness is so hard to achieve is that the universe was not designed with the comfort of human beings in mind.”

 

Humanity has always been looking for happiness through various path - the nGram viewer from Google books shows that the search for wealth picked up after the Industrial Revolution. However, in this century, the search for happiness has picked up again.

In our search for happiness, our initial belief is that when certain desires are fulfilled we will attain happiness. Thus if I have the additional scoop of ice-cream, that new car, the exotic vacation, a bigger house, a better job I will have happiness. However our experience is that that happiness derived from this is short-term and we are still left with a feeling of incompleteness. 

The reason for this might be based on a study from Princeton University  reported in Time according to which: People say money doesn't buy happiness. Except, according to a new study from Princeton University's Woodrow Wilson School, it sort of does — up to about $75,000 a year. The lower a person's annual income falls below that benchmark, the unhappier he or she feels. But no matter how much more than $75,000 people make, they don't report any greater degree of happiness.

The largest study ever done on health and happiness, The Harvard Study of Adult Development, started tracking the health and happiness of Harvard students from 1938. It showed that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.

Sonja Lyubomirsky's research shows that  truly happy individuals construe life events and daily situations in ways that seem to maintain their happiness, while unhappy individuals construe experiences in ways that seem to reinforce unhappiness. That is, our mental models determine the world that we see. She says, "If we observe genuinely happy people, we shall find that they do not just sit around being contented. They make things happen. They pursue new understandings, seek new achievements, and control their thoughts and feelings. In sum, our intentional, effortful activities have a powerful effect on how happy we are, over and above the effects of our set points and the circumstances in which we find themselves."

However, as we try to make things happen, we find that some ventures succeed, making us giddy with happiness and some fail, driving us to the depths of despair. So does happiness come from within or without? Does our happiness reside in the fate of events that we can influence to some extent, but not completely control?

If, as the Harvard study indicated, happiness is tied to close relationships, what is one's role with respect to the society? How can an individual be happy if he/she has close relationships but society is hurting? Where does one's duty lie - seeking to redress issues in the society or working on maintaining the close relationship ?

The ancient Indian law text, the Manusmriti says (4.160)

सर्वं परवशं दुःखं सर्वमात्मवशं सुखम् ।
एतद् विद्यात् समासेन लक्षणं सुखदुःखयोः 

'Everything that makes you dependent on external factors is unhappiness; everything that makes you free from such dependence is real happiness. That is the nature of happiness and unhappiness; please understand in brief this truth.'

Ramana Maharshi says: If a man thinks that his happiness is due to external causes and his possessions, it is reasonable to conclude that his happiness must increase with the increase of possessions and diminish in proportion to their diminution. Therefore if he is devoid of possessions, his happiness should be nil. What is the real experience of man? Does it conform to this view?

In deep sleep the man in devoid of possessions, including his own body. Instead of being unhappy he is quite happy. Everyone desires to sleep soundly. The conclusion is that happiness is inherent in man and is not due to external causes. One must realize his Self in order to open the store of unalloyed happiness.

P.S. In an informal poll [n = 1; my school-going daughter :-)  ], I asked the audience what was the secret of happiness. The poll reported that making others happy was the best way to happiness.